Oh Lambchops!
by PinkPlagueRat
Summary: The origin of Lammy...according to me. It's just a short story


Well, here's a new short story! It's kind of exaggerated...so yeah. Enjoy!

It was a sunny day, the birds were chirping, the sky was blue. A bus with an acorn-which seems to be the logo of everything happy tree town-stopped at the bus stop. A lamb, who was wearing a wool sweater and wool boots with a pickle on her shoulder stepped off the bus.

This new town what she dreamed it would be like! The bus sped off with the bus driver saying "Good luck...you'll need it!" Lammy didn't know what that meant, and she wasn't gonna let that make her jump to conclusions so quickly.

The two suitcases she had been carrying slipped out of her light purple hands slightly-she re-gripped them firmly. On her shoulder, was a pickle-whom she carries around for an unknown reason-with a top hat. Lammy saw a nearby table. _Finally! I can rest my things down!_ She thought. Lammy put her suitcases down on the picnic table, sat down, and took out the map. On the southwest corner of the map was a circle-marked in red-around the address "6660 Shear drive". It was on the outskirts of town, and had a rather large area of forest land within the vicinity of her new-found home.

Lammy looked to her right; there was an orange beaver who wore construction attire and had stubs instead of arms. She looked at him with a puzzled expression on her face. It wasn't that seeing a handy-capped person creeped her out, it was just that it was peculiar to see a handy-capped person working on his tow truck. _Weird, _she thought, _How can he fix that thing when he has no hands?_

Lammy returned her attention back to her map, planning all the possible routes for her commute home, trying to pick the fastest. She noticed that the weight on her left shoulder-being Mr. Pickles-wasn't on her left shoulder but was on her right. "Whoa! I coulda' swore that you were on my left shoulder; how'd you get there Mr. Pickles?" She said to him as if he were a living, breathing organism. This bewildered her, but as a young lamb, she was raised to be cheerful and optimistic.

Lammy's ear twitched. She heard faint footsteps approaching in the gravel; first they had a crunchy pitch then they were inaudible. Lammy turned around; there was no one there. Lammy turned back around went back to reading her map. Finding the quickest way to her new home, she got up; put Mr. Pickles in the suitcase.

Just as she was about to leave, someone was behind her. She turned around to face a blue skunk with an air freshener necklace. She had long, thick eyelashes and smelled like pinecones. She was carrying a brown teddy bear in her right hand. "Hi!" She said benevolently. "Hi!" Lammy said back, almost mimicking Petunia's voice pitch.

"So, are you knew here?"

"Yeah."

"Oh! I figured that when I saw you with a map and two suitcases." Petunia said. Lammy nodded in agreement. She giggled as though she didn't want to mean when she wanted to say something to interrupt Petunia.

"Uh, yeah, I-I have to go so-"

"Don't you want some tea?" Petunia asked, cutting Lammy off.

_Fine._Lammy thought. "Sure!" she said.

"Okay, I'll be right back!"

Petunia put down her teddy bear and went to get tea. Suddenly, Lammy heard the ripping of cotton and polyester. She turned around to see her suitcase slightly opened with some of the wool sweaters inside ruffled up. _Wait, how did my suitcase open? Where's Mr. Pickles?_

She closed her suitcase and looked up to see Mr. Pickles ripping the head off Petunia's teddy bear. Lammy gasped and abruptly got out of her chair. "Mr. Pickles how could yo-wait a minute how are you alive?" She exclaimed in her high pitched voice.

She quickly tried to patch the head back on, not realizing that Mr. Pickles was already gone. Lammy once again heard footsteps approaching in the gravel. _Oh crap! I'm screwed!_ "Okay I'm back! I didn't know what flavor you wanted so I got two kinds-mint and black tea. I hope you en-" Petunia gasped, dropping the two cups of tea; when they dropped ,they shattered on impact in slow motion as if everything was about to unfold in the longest minute of their life. Lammy turned around to meet the angry eyes of Petunia.

In Petunia's eyes, she saw Lammy ripping the head off her own teddy bear and then smashing the head back on as if this was some kind of way to add insult to injury (if the teddy bear was alive to begin with). Lammy froze in the position she was in-which, by the way, looks as if she had just now rip the head off of Petunia's teddy bear.

You see, in Lammy's eyes this all looks like one bad coincidence. "I can explain...you see my Pickle, he-he sorta came alive and, and had a mind of his own so he kinda destroyed your teddy bear and..." Lammy's voice trailed off when she didn't know what else to say.

Her eyes involuntarily wandered around, not wanting to meet the eyes of Petunia. She just realized something, Mr. Pickles was gone. Lammy gasped when she saw the pickle sneak up behind Petunia. _Oh crap! _ He twirled his mustache then pulled Petunia's air fresher necklace back, eliciting a cackling noise from her.

Lammy gasped; she quickly grabbed the necklace forward, hoping it would stop the air restriction. It didn't, by the time it snapped, her dark blue face was now pale; her lifeless, cold, dead body dropped itself into her arms-now this was it, the prints from Lammy's fingers were all over Petunia's throat.

In a panic, she sat Petunia down, sitting upright at the picnic table. _Holy crap! No one's gonna believe that a pickle murdered somebody!_ She wiped the sweat off her forehead "Phew!" She said to herself, "At least no one was watching...hey! Where'd Mr. Pickles go?" Lammy's ear twitched, as if she had sensed someone was there, watching the whole thing. Lammy turned around; she was right, someone was watching her. It was a red porcupine on an electric scooter; she was staring at her, shocked, as if she'd misconstrued what Lammy was doing. Flaky quickly sped off.

Lammy heard a truck roar, so by instinct, she turned around. In the tow truck was Mr. Pickles, wearing his sinister smile. He tipped his top hat at Lammy and revved the engine. Lammy screamed, she quickly jumped in the open window of the tow truck. Mr. Pickles was speeding in the direction Flaky sped off in. Lammy pushed Mr. Pickles out of the way; a beaver with two stubby arms, wearing construction attire walked out onto the road, wondering where his truck was.

"Oh shit!" Lammy screamed. She tried to stop the truck but it was no use, Mr. Pickles was pressing on the gas, and if Lammy tried to turn, she'd probably end up in a car accident. It was too late. The truck ran over Handy, splitting his head. His blood was all over the windows.

The truck was now gaining on Flaky. Mr. Pickles pressed even harder on the gas. In an instant, she sped pass a blue moose who was sitting in a police car, eating a sandwich. Seeing this startled him. "Hooligans! Where do they all come from these days?" He grumbled to himself. Lumpy turned on the sirens and chased the truck.

Up ahead, a yellow bunny was standing in front of his car door-which is parked in the opposite direction of the lane going north-about to get inside.

It all happened too quick. In a flash, the squad car smashed the door closed, squishing his body inside and, at the same time, decapitating his head, legs, and his right arm. Not even batting an eye at the bloody scene, Lumpy still kept hot on the trail. They were now speeding on the opposite lane; the sound of alarms and car horns went off as the cars swerved out of the squad car's way, trying to avoid an accident killing the officer and themselves. The only thing that did was wreak havoc on the highway.

Cars smashed into each other one by one, creating a massive pile-up. Coming up ahead, a truck carrying a massive supply of oil struggled to move out of the way; this only caused the truck to spin in a complete revolution. "Whoa!" Lumpy said to himself as he made a sharp turn to the right. The edges of the oil truck scraped the squad car.

The only thing that was left of the paint was the starched up acronym that read "H.T.P.D". Lumpy's fur was standing on edge, which was the result of adrenaline, fear, anger, or any sign of strong emotion. A huge explosion was heard, so loud that Lumpy thought he might of gone deaf. The explosion was probably powerful enough to break the sound barrier itself. All the screams and cries for help died out (as did the owners of the futile cries) the rumbling of the ground also ceased.

Lumpy looked at his rear view window. Both the left and right lanes had some damage-the worst being the right lane- the left lane shown some evidence that it also took the hit. The railing that separated the both lanes was blown in; it left a 250 feet gap in it.

Some cars on the left lane were blown off to the side with their owner's bodies scattered about in a bloody mess-the worst one being a squirrel who had the upper half of his body hanging out the broken window and the lower half of his body sitting in the driver's seat. Cars started to drive past the scene in the left lane like nothing happened. It was almost like a clogged artery; all you needed was a pill to clear it up and the blood would flow naturally again. The right lane in which the explosion happened was not so fortunate; blood stained body parts were scattered everywhere as if they were dropped from the sky.

The right lane lay in ruins; several cars were overturned, and had a slow-burning flame on it. The oil from the truck stained the road. Some little island puddle still had a flame burning on it. The cars were now covered in ashes slowly, some more than others and few were completely covered. Lumpy likened this to the volcanic eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in Pompeii. The only thing left of this was the ashes of burnt trash and leaves that hung loosely in the air. The fuliginous smoke hung over the highway, but it came less opaque when Lumpy drove farther away.

He focused his attention back on the high-speed chase. He couldn't believe how engrossed he was with the scene. Normally, a person like him would ignore such foolish tragedies and go on as if they were minor speed bumps on the road of life. He looked ahead, the truck Lammy was driving seemed to get smaller and smaller. _I'll be damned if I let this one get away from me! _Lumpy pressed down on the gas pedal. Soon, the truck Lammy was driving became larger and larger.

The truck came to a complete stop. There was a fallen log blocking the whole right lane. Lumpy stopped the squad car. He parked the car and got out. He took out his taser and ran towards the truck yelling "get out of the car, get out of the car!" Lumpy caught a glimpse of splattered blood on the grill of the truck. _it's worse than I thought_! Lammy rolled the window down. "O-officer I-I can explain!" Lammy stammered, she said this too fast for the moose to comprehend; to him, what she said seemed garbled up.

Lammy put one hand in her pocket. From Lumpy's perspective, it seemed as if she was going to pull out a gun or a weapon of some sort. He quickly tased her neck; instantly, she fell back on the passer seat of the truck. Lumpy opened the door and dragged her unconscious body out of the truck.

He put one hand under her head and one hand under her legs. His hand grew sweaty under her head. A few seconds latter, her head slipped from his hand. The sound of her skull cracking was ear-splitting. Lumpy didn't seem to care that he dropped Lammy or that he might of caused her a concussion.

Slowly, Lammy's eyes began to open. Her eyelids felt heavy, her head was hurting, and she felt a throbbing pain in her neck. All she heard was the officer saying "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present now and during any future questioning." Lammy felt the officer putting handcuffs in her. "Officer please I can explain...I-" Lammy knew that the officer wouldn't believe that a pickle caused all of this. _I know_! "You don't understand! I'm not from here!" Lumpy pulled her off the squad car and pushed her in the car.

"Welcome to Happy Tree Town, the unhappiest place on Earth. Deal with it! You kill someone and you're going in the slammer!" He said to her. Lumpy slammed the back door. He walked around to the front side of the squad car and got in. Lammy looked to her left to see Mr. Pickles holding a knife. He tipped his hat-a sign that he was up to no good.

Well there's chapter 1!  
Review...or I'll find you.


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